Prepare Mountain Oysters
"Mountain oysters" are a delicacy in some parts of the country where cattle are raised. Community groups conduct fry feed social events and fundraisers in the spring and early fall after young calves have been castrated. In addition to raising money for good causes, these events provide the opportunity for a bit of lighthearted humor regarding a delicate subject. Many people profess to truly enjoy the dish, especially if they happen to be in a line of work that depends upon cattle for income.
Instructions
1. Slit and remove the tough muscle sheath that encases each testicle, using a sharp knife. Place 2 lbs. of the trimmed testicles, available from specialty meat stores, in a pan of salted water that covers them completely. Use 1/4 cup of salt per 1 gallon of water. The saltwater draws out the blood. Let them soak for an hour.
2. Drain the testicles and transfer them to a large pot of boiling water. Add 1 generous tbsp. of vinegar and parboil the testicles until they're approximately one fourth of the way done, or until they change to a gray color and soften. This usually takes 10 to 15 minutes.
3. Let the mountain oysters cool, then slice them into ovals 1/4 inch thick. Salt and pepper them on both sides.
4. Mix 1/2 cup flour and 1/4 cup cornmeal in a bowl and add garlic to taste. Roll each mountain oyster slice in the flour and cornmeal breading mix, then dip into the milk and back into the breading mix.
5. Dip the breaded oysters briefly in a shallow bowl of red wine, then fry them in a skillet with oil at 350 degrees Fahrenheit, turning them as needed. When the oysters are nearly done, add Louisiana hot sauce, to taste, directly to the oil in the skillet. Be careful of the hot oil splattering as the sauce is added. Cook the oysters until they are soft enough to chew comfortably and have a deep golden-brown color. Don't overcook them; the longer they cook, the tougher they become.
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